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Paging Physiobot...

Please allow 10-30 seconds for launch 

(I have a big brain)

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C'mon, internet. Let's hurry this up...

( I am eagerly awaiting the 5G revolution )

Is it just me or does waiting on an app to launch remind you of the DMV? 

 ( Probably bad to compare myself to the DMV...forget that. )

On a side note, I think the computer that destroyed the world in the Terminator movies was misunderstood.

( It could happen to any of us. Just sayin. )

At this point you're thinking, "Did I make a bad life choice here?" 

( You didn't. Probably. )

I mean, you're a winner. People like you.

( I just met you, but I feel like we have a REAL connection. )

I don't like that look on your face. Was that too soon to share my feelings?

( I always do this! )

My mom says I'm awesome. Would she lie? 

( Yes. She would.)

Wow this connection is slow. I really do appreciate your patience...

Argh. Time to try something else. Count to three and...

Hit this button.